Another child told mine that Santa isn’t real! Now what? 5 tips for Parents
There’s a moment every parent fears: your teary-eyed child walks in after school asking (if not pleading) to know whether or not Santa Claus is real. Over the years you’ve been nothing but cautious: finding bizarre hiding places for gifts in the house, or car, or even the yard (and the gifts that are too large end up all over town). You wrap Christmas presents on your lunch break and you even write the tags with your left hand. After the festivities on Christmas Eve you exhaustedly wake up in the wee hours to stuff stockings and quietly place presents under the Christmas tree. In spite of it all, some other child on the playground boasted of knowing “the truth”. While your first instinct may be to track their parents down and leave them wanting their two front teeth for Christmas, your priority is your child.
In these moments, you may ask yourself how to have a comfortable conversation with your child that doesn’t make them feel deceived or break their trust. The first thing to remember is just because some kid on the playground is being a jerk, doesn’t mean your child is really ready to know the truth. If this is the first time they are hearing about it, and especially if they come home visibly upset, they probably need to sit with the possibilities for a while. That’s good—because it buys you a little time.
Here are some tips for what to do next.
Make lots of time for this conversation and be prepared to give them your undivided attention. Remember—this is a huge deal for them.
Start by getting the details of the interaction. Determine if this kid is a bully or a friend. Do a lot of listening and make sure your child knows you are on their side.
Ask your child what they think about this rumor, and what they want to believe. This will help you determine if they are ready to learn about Christmas. (If you think they are ready, I have a blog post about that conversation linked below.)
End the conversation by giving them a Holiday tradition to look forward to. How about making Christmas cookies tonight, or decorating the tree this weekend, or a drive around the neighborhood looking at decorations with hot coco? Remember that someone just took away a little magic, and it’s a perfect opportunity to fill it back up.
Lastly, contact the parents. Let them know that you have a plan to telling your child about Christmas, but they aren’t ready yet. If you (or them) would like some tips about how to prevent your kids from spoiling Christmas for believers, I have a post about that too!
Remember to look for clues about how ready your child is to learn about Christmas, and don’t forget that the Holidays aren’t the only time to break the news.